1. phoenix - consolation prizes
2. pennywise - society
3. phoenix - victim of the crime
4. the national - ada
5. dropkick murphys - walk away
6. dropkick murphys - kiss me im shitfaced
7. gbh - big women
8. operation ivy - take warning
9. passafire - laquiji
10. gbh - no survivors

havent used this in awhile. might be going back to school to teach... well see what happens. i like the city atmosphere.

went to o corleys had lunch w/ hans and tracey. tommrow im driving to lilburn springs, celebrated cinquo demayo on the strip. jeannie called me the other night and adrea picked up the phone and bitched her out, and now jeannie wont talk to me? all things considered im waiting for her to get over that and talk to me. but she thinks adrea is my girl or something.

I have alot to say including one of my political science teachers who is a UF alumnus has been talking me up to their political science department, and in a way their trying to recruit me to go there, although im sure alot will change in a year, im pretty excited about it. School is winding down, and im driving up to lilburn this weekend and gonna catch lunch w/ jerry and andy. late may me and jerry are going to see punchline in jacksonville. caught lunch w/ jeannie at locos and we played jackelope last night team hot damn(me and andy) lost to wes and hans, but they ended up winning so no big deal. Now i have the weirdest story ever to tell you, im not gonna say the names because i want to keep them protected, i get this girl back to my room at the TKE house and this other brother comes in there. anyhow me and this girl start going at it, and she asks me to tell him to leave. so i say dude leave, and he says no, and dont try that scroll bullshit on me, so im fucked up...and i said fine dont leave but i wouldnt get naked in front of another guy. so she gave me a handie.haha weird story...she was pretty cute too.

another week passed by, and finally the weather and everyones mood has switched into summer mode. Ive been slowly moving my belongings into the TKE house, every room in the house is now occupied which is amazing considering how no one wanted to live their previously. Me and Jeannie hang out alot, she works at vitos's and i went and saw her at work the other day, and we go to the bar together at least a couple times a week. she thinks we have alot in common and would defitenly want to be with me, but shes with this guy right now and cant leave him. She is defitenly not a slut because she feels guilty even sleeping with me. Im just happy shes in my life, and we have a connection that i havent felt before. Shes a methodist preachers daughter. she called me the other day and was like im going to library and ill come see you when im done researching. But i thought she said Briarberry patch of something, and we laughed...then we talked about picking strawberries, weird i know no one got it but us. I made her a cd of songs that remind me of her when she called me from work saying shes bored and wanted to see me and we're going out to dinner this sunday...i get somewhat nervous everytime i first see her face ha and im not lying when i say i am infatuated with her. is it bad that im taking some girl out to dinner that has a boyfriend...nah already done with the pleasentries im building a pre-foundation and everyone she knows talks well about me. that guy needs to fuck up, even if he doesnt i still think shell start leaning towards me if she hasnt already. umm on the other end of the spectrum, Adrea wants me to meet her parents in Tifton i guess, when we;re going out to dinner. should be interesting...and she wants to meet mine after beach trip she said we should drive down and see them, what the hell does she want to meet my parents for? Beach trip starts today and im leaving for panama city right after work, the summit here i come. Its gonna be a weekend to rememeber and when i come back sunday i have a dinner with jeannie to look forward to, and then lendys wedding the weekend after. my friend amanda is going to be my date for it, but if i had known i would totally ask jeannie to go ha... isnt a wedding date like a 3 in 1? thats what i heard, buckman always makes fun of me because he knows i want it and cant have it. but her and him talk about me in class, hes a good friend always talking me up to girls, i have to work all on personality i mean its hard being brown ina southern town.ha just kidding i do alright.

1. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
2. I will then tell you what song or band reminds me of you.
3. Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
4. Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. Put this in your journal

our house got broken into yesterday, but all that got stolen was my ps2, all my games, and a bunch of my favorite dvds. kinda sucks...went out w/ jeannie and krystal and ended up getting wasted and driving to christies where i could get rejected...i rarely get this way anymore, but it defitnely didnt solve the stress of school, money, and being robbed. and thats the very reason she left in the first place was because of drinking, i wish she could see how ive changed, but last night was an exception, i had my reasons and i missed her, it felt good to be in her arms, but worse to see her being hit on at rockin rodeo and knowing she could be with anyone else but me. the connection is still there, but who knows if itll ever come together. finals, beach trip, lendys wedding, and a new york trip are on its way...as i perfect a certain lonliness in knowing that i want something steady again.

it still feels like we're at spring break, but all the papers and tests piling in are starting to take us back to reality. Yesterday was really weird, christie said she saw me on the road which was rad. Im always on the road, im a delivery driver... um mike miller kinda opened up to me about jeannie, saying how theyre gonna remain friends whatsoever, not knowing that me and her hang out...so i just listened, but later that night after deans suprise birthday party i went to see CJ's. Jeannie was bummed initally because we had planned to go to the bar, but i went to see dean on his birthday instead, but i felt guilty about it so a bunch of us headed up there and i told her id be there for you. we talked to some new guys that are thinking about rushing, and when she showed up and we saw each other it was just there you know, her smile, her voice, her eyes they make me melt. me, her, and lee then proceeded to the bar where we took shots of petrone
and whatever steve made us, it was awesome...its good to know bartenders by the way. me and her talked for awhile, it sucks shes involved with someone right now, but everyone tells me that she likes me and you can tell we are so attracted to each other. Then she was like lets leave, and i said alright...and we drove a .25 mile to my place, she said she loved my room...she proceeded to the bathroom, but i said we were out of toliet paper, i usualyl tell girls to drip dry, hahah me and wes coined that...but she said im not like other girls, and i said no your not. so i proceeded to the tke house and grabbed one of those wholesale rolls, and woke up wes for some advice, i was like what should i do, its gonna happen...and i felt guilty cause miller talked to me, and then saw me at the bar with her...he talked to her briefly while i watched t.v. and routinely glanced at her as she gave me glances of lets get out of her. wes told me i shouldnt have sex with her because of that, and that she was a little intoxicated. i agreed, so when i came back i popped in the outsiders and we kissed and held each other intertwined the whole night. in the morning we swang by her car, dropped her off at nevins, smoked, and that was that... it was an amazing night, one ill never forget if you can tell by the detail... i told her shes the kind of girl that anyone could fall in love with, but 90% of our attraction has to be we both have alkaline trio tats, she is defitenly the indie rock girl of my dreams, too bad shes with someone now, cant wait until he fucks up. im sure alot of people are hoping that too. for now back to tweleve page papers. ugh.

LJ Friends Meme by coolerq

• You must tell 7 people about this game.
• christie is the one that you love.
• jeannie is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about danny.
• bj is the one who knows you very well.
• andy is your lucky star.
• your new aesthetic is the song that matches with christie.
• fireman is the song for jeannie.
• right side of the bed is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
• and franco unamerican is the song telling you how you feel about life
Take this quiz

all i can say is wow...just wow.







• christie is the one that you love.

• jeannie is one you like but can't work out.

• You care most about danny.

• bj is the one who knows you very well.

• andy is your lucky star.

• your new aesthetic is the song that matches with christie.

• fireman is the song for jeannie.

• right side of the bed is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

• and franco unamerican is the song telling you how you feel about life

first of all. i have not updated in awhile so this will be good. i left for spring break on sunday and meant my parents in orlando, they drove up from cape coral to meet me at west gate condos. we spent easter there, which was nice. Its a really nice place. Then the next day I drove a couple exits north to winter park and stayed w/ chad,pepe, and nick. Josiah and Wes met us there and lets say thats when the fun began. We drank plenty, went to this bar/arcade met some cool people and played games. We ate at TGIFRIDAYS and pepe was our server. Nash lived there too so he came out with us. We talked about some stuff, and he makes alot of sense. actually when it comes down to it, im glad being single right now...i actually dont feel bad one of my exes may be out loving someone else. because it doesnt matter anymore, that chapter has closed. it feels good to be alone but in an unknowing way, appartently the new christie still thinks shes my girlfriend according to tracey? but i didnt know we evenn had a label anymore. anyhow back to orlando, nash hit on my cousin whose a lesbian...i danced with this amazingly hot girl, who was the best person ive ever danced with, she was totally dropping down and getting all up in me...it was awwwesome. and the whole time i was talking to wes who was standing next to me and drinking...mumbling i dont dance, we were with girls the whole weekend, by the pool, and the liquid cellar...i met a old high school friend chelsea who came with her boyfriend ryan. we took shots, got fucked up, made new friends, got numbers, had a "great time", all in a couple days. made me think why cant i have this much fun in valdosta. matt called me the other day, said he has this ultra liberal girl he wants me to meet...that we would hit it off so well. i hope so, because im not gonna settle...and im not gonna fuck around, i want to meet someone amazing, and this trip was a great morale boost, because i was really lonely after the break up. everyone that semi-likes me is taken...its ridiciulous...i hung out with a girl i met once on my birthday, and she showed me a great time...what is that?! what the hell is that!

another thing im reading alot of noam chomsky and listening to alot of nofx. i love this line "when one makes 20 million, 10,000 people lose, what keeps that one from swallowing a shotgun" haha yeah thats we need a socialized america, we are taught to think we're #1 and be patriotic, but in truth the true patriots are the ones that challenge the government and correct its mistakes, thats what the framers intended. as far as great countries go i would defitnely agreee that canada and sweeden are in the top 5, i mean its not about being a military superpower, its about local stability and believe me america's dominance overseas makes us look nothing more than a tyrant...if you think are chemicals and weaponary are for national defense you are ignorant. also everyone in sweeden/canada look healthier and beatuiful, damn pollution...ha

chrisite is going home for a couple days, but will be back to go w/ me hans and tracey to kinderloo to eat at this fancy country club before we go to the dance. i did something stupid i texted old christie a couple times a couple days ago, which was dumb because of course she didnt answer. she said she missed me at o corleys, and she knows i miss her. i dont know why things will never work out, i wish we would just connect again...but she has guys courting her and im in a relationship i should be totalyl focused on that because its the right thing to do, but my heart floats around, its not all there. i just sit and wonder if shes sitting around wondering about me.

havent typed in awhile, life is moving fast right now, me and christie are going to red carnation together and she asked me to be exclusive the other night and the fraternity is at its height right now. i tried to not burn a bridge, and ive controlled my alcohol. im happy, this month is going to be great...dances, spring break, orlando... finally things are coming full circle

its finally done. thanks guts your a little late...i got it all out of my system finally.

sidenote new christie and me went to locos, steaknshake and her house in a matter of half a day, all coupled with beer, brother cheers, campfires, old friends, new friends, new little sisters, unified pledges, no more looking back with regrets, and new oppurtunities flourishing...can anyone feel as happy as i am now? oh yeah anyone that knows me...

- waterfall

i dont know what or who to believe. both have different stories, and someone is lying to me. christie texted me in classto get lunch w/ her, but i really didnt feel like a date, so i went w/ matt and josh and we all had lunch together. tonight me and lee are gonna take some shots and then go to the big party at the house, i hear he might be my little brother which would rad, i like him alot, he reminds me of aaron i just hope he doesnt quit. christie said she wants to call me tonight shes having problems w/ her life and wants to talk to me. im glad she feels she can confide in me, i can actually be a great persont to talk to, but you have to catch me at the right time. zack, pepe, and yetti will all be here...and thats great. anyways, the weather is horrible and my mind is racing...

just a random picture of someone taking it laying down in front of me.
thats what my life has been random...good or bad i dont know. me and
wes talked about starting fresh leaving everything behind and meeting
totally new people, and im down. hes done it before coming to valdosta,
and so did i. im not drinking hard anymore and im not using it as a
problem solver, we joked how their should be  answers to riddles
at the bottom of bottles, ya know extra motivation, hahaha that would
never pass. lately just been hanging out w/ people. im either really
emotional or i dont feel anything now a days, and there is no one but a
certain few who have been there to comfort me. i dont want everyone to
know. girls have come and linger around, and honestly i would care for
progress right now... "you offered me a million bucks, all i wants a
steady fuck, oh steady, steady where are you?"- jawbreaker but i dont
have the guts to progress anyone im interested in, i dont want to scare
anyone away with that kind of desperate lunge, so i keep it hidden and
hope once again time will be my friend, time is more like a prison
sentence, you know everything will be fine in the end...but your stuck
there for now. yeah im stuck here for now...



p.s. get the fuck over it ian. she doesnt care about you the same way
anymore! she thinks about you once every blue moon and those thoughts
leave just as fast! your a footnote to her! someone she made it up in
her mind shell never be with again! your unstable emotionally! deal
with your own problems! she likes someone else! shes sleeping with
someone else! the last thing on her mind is being there as a crutch for
you and coming back to make everything all better! its a nice fantasy,
but it isnt life! get the fuck over it! time will tell what happens but
for now your alone! your alone and no one person can complete you! dont
put your faith in anything on solid ground! no girl can take her place
right now, and you know that! so why are you trying to meet somone in
this state! you need to focus on school, leave and meet someone at
another time! now is not the time to be attached to anyone, anywhere!
you need to focus and attain your goals!



sometimes i need to write it down to convince myself. thats how it helps me deal day to day.

~clarityinstars~

LJ friendsCollage.

Brought to you by pratibha75 and teemus.

...This solitary romance we'll never know
Well it's this coffin break I'm staging to the road that leads me back to you Will be the miracle I gave up everything to only be with you
Can't seem to shake the loneliest curse of all
Eternity with just a memory" - strung out "vampires"

lets see my day was pretty rad, and yes i cracked today because keith,erik,and tommy all visited on the same day with kegs...these are three guys i looked up to when i was a pledge add on jeremy (aka perm), nash, and travis you have the people i tried to imitate coming though...they are some of the best people in the world. when they left erik kissed me on the cheek which was different, but i mean we were almost in tears at one moment its hard to see them all come for a day and then leave, no one can understand how much they mean to not only me but to this place we call the TKE house. i would be lying if i said i didnt get lost in moments looking at the deck fill w/ new faces, new stories, new friends... i love everything about its evolution. i know i can see myself changing, ive always been an emotional person...but wow i never thought i could experience all the things i have in a semester let alone a lifetime...


[ we came we saw we destroyed ]
me and linell | me and lisa | erik and the keg | keith sally erik

I want this theme party brought to South GA... what.

well i couldnt go to aligatous so i had to raincheck christie because i didnt get off until 945 and they close at 10. so insted i was going over to her place to watch a movie and we would go later in the week. so i went over and suprised her w/ take out and we watched the notebook, yeah its been labeled a "chick flick" but actually i enjoyed it alot...so shoot me. we talked like always. i questioned her about the pill tube i notcied on the first time i went to her place it says the days of the week on it. she said its vitamins and some are anti-depressants but she didnt want to tell me to scare me away. i laughed for what seemed like hours...and told her about my sister and about my brief moment in meds. didnt tell her what is was caused by, because really i dont even know why i reacted that way, im not overstressed or anything, but i am over anxious. anyhow i know i made her feel comfortable and after we finished a plate i got up and took everything to the trash and sink, and she seemed suprised by that. i forgot what its like to actually date someone in the begining, the grace period so to speak. after the movie we talked some more and she walked me to my veichle, thats when i think the approiate moment arose, and i was like well we're having a formal dance and i wanted to ask if you would like to be my date...overjoyed she said of course and was already in my arms. i felt pure happiness again, and she said its right around my birthday. i cant believe she remembers. anyhow then i went to cjs and smoke cigs and talked, meg was drunk and kept wanting me to kiss her on her cheek, but i said no...drunk people look different from the other side, but its fun when your with them. anyhow the end of march might be the best time of my life...

march 19th - RED C
march 20th-21st- ORLANDO TRIP w/ wes,bj,matt,and lee
march 21st- MY BIRTHDAY back in V-Town to get down

i wish i had a time machine...

1. bon jovi - shot through the heart
2. my bloody valentine - sometimes
3. punchline - just getting started
4. brandtson - drawing a line in the sand
5. muse - butterflies and hurricanes
6. radiohead - go to sleep
7. straylight run - some live song
8. damien rice - cannonball
9. ryan adams - oh my sweet carolina
10. boston - feeling satisfied
11. jawbreaker - chemistry
12. rufio - above me
13. decendents - everything sucks
14. underoath - down set go
15. as i lay dying - behind me lies another
16. ben kweller - sha sha
17. lifetime - cut the tension
18. donovan - wear your love like heaven (live)
19. over it - crush
20. senses fail - choke on this

valetines day was just like any other day. went to class. i got to explain im doing my capstone course paper on partial birth abortion. using supreme court cases to understand judicial opinions...yeah its about as fun as it gets. then christie called me i went to her place and we exchanged gifts, she seemed disspointed i couldnt stay, but then again shes the most difficult short story and weather phenomenom (i cant read her or predict her) so we said our goodbyes and i told her we would celebrate tommrow. started one of my 5 page papers, i hate college... worked. got a citation...yay. then i went to the TKE house. it was our pledges first meeting, that was interesting...ate a salad there and then me and wes came home. now im writing in a journal avoiding to write my papers. i want to go to aligatou or moris tommrow instead of mom and dads, im gonna save that for the doubling up. didnt run into christie L. couvillion today as expected...i hope she thought of me, but it wouldnt suprise me if she didnt. i hope someone made her feel special...because i cant do it in the position ive been placed.